The Really Quite Short Arm of the Law

So, another party, another opportunity for Amber and Terry to have a close encounter with the police. Ho-hum.

Last night our friends Greg and Claire had a party. Now, last time Greg and Claire had a party, Terry and I were pulled over by the police for no reason whatsoever on the way there. This time we decided to mix things up a little (well, it’s boring to pull the same stunt twice. Not that that’s stopped us before, of course.) so this time it was US who called the police out on arrival at the house, after a gang of marauding teenagers decided to jump on top of Terry’s car and then RUN RIGHT OVER THE TOP OF IT. God, I hate people.

We had just parked, and were making our way cautiously across the frozen ground towards the house when we noticed The Gang, but it was only as we knocked on the door that we heard the car alarm go off. Now, because Terry’s car alarm has earned itself a reputation for being a little bit over-zealous in its protection of the vehicle, I thought nothing of this, and so it was that I had been inside the house for a few minutes and was merrily drinking wine and chatting to our hosts when I suddenly realised that, "Hey! Terry didn’t actually come back after he went to switch off the alarm, did he? Maybe he is dead?"

Well, I went outside and had a bit of a look around. Terry was standing by the car, and seemed to be talking to someone on the phone, so I went back inside, happy to assume that, I dunno, that he had decided that now was a good time to catch up with an old friend or something? You can see why I decided against becoming a detective, can’t you?

A few minutes later, Terry finally arrived at the party, and the whole sorry tale was told. It appears that as he turned back to investigate the car alarm, he noticed the aforementioned gang of "youths" jump onto the car bonnet and then proceed from there onto the roof, and finally down the back window and off into the night. God, I really wish they had fallen off and hurt something.

Terry gave chase (my hero! And also: stupid!) and managed to catch one of the little gits. Unluckily, this was one of the gang who HADN’T jumped onto the car, so the fact that Terry managed to get the kid to empty his pockets, and found some kind of ID card with both his name and address on it will probably count for nothing. So Terry phoned the police. Uncharacteristically, the police arrived two minutes later, took the details and went off in hot pursuit of the miscreants, although, given the time that had elapsed, I really, really doubt they would have caught them – or that they’ll actually do anything about it if they did, given that these kids were all about 13 years old.

We weren’t able to examine the car very well at the time because it was too dark, but this morning it appears to have a slight dent in the roof, plus several muddy footprints on the bonnet, roof and back windows. I was thinking the police really should have taken some kind of tracing of these, because that’s always how they catch criminals in the Famous Five, but no, apparently not. Terry is going to call them anyway to let them know that there is some damage (to be honest, it’s not particularly noticeable, but I’m vindictive enough to press charges if it was at all possible – which it won’t be, because of their ages), but I’m guessing the end to this story will be that there will BE no end, and that we’ll just have to cough up to repair senseless damage by the lobotomized-at-birth.

Have a great Christmas, everyone, and if you’re planning on leaving the house at all, take care – the stupid people, they are everywhere.

  • It seems you ALWAYS have something going on in your life worth sharing lol! Not to say you should have a boring people but I do believe you (most unfortunately) have a sign somewhere on you reading "Please bother me. I have a blog and I'd like to write about what you're about to do to me :)"


    As always, your blog is hilarious

    December 23, 2007
  • I'm dumb, I meant "should have a boring life***"


    December 24, 2007
  • Steph (a completely


    Ha, this is the kind of thing that always happens to me. Well, technically to my boyfriend. We live in the middle of nowhere, so I'm pretty sure that the police hunt him for sport – I've lost count of the number of times they've pulled him over.
    Once, someone called the police whilst we were parked in a layby (admittedly having the most minor of all spats) because they thought he was knocking me around. And that I was underage (I think that's flattering?)
    It might be because he drives the oldest, most rickety rustbucket known to mankind (it's safe to drive, I swears it, officer). That and the fact that occasionally he looks a bit rough. But it's becoming a bit of a joke now.

    P.S. Love the blog 🙂

    December 24, 2007
  • Who does that? Seriously? Why the hell would that be a fun thing to do?

    God, people ARE dumb!

    Have a great holiday!

    December 24, 2007
  • Those little buggers! That is so rude – and I hate that nothing can really be done about it. Sometimes I wonder about the parents who let their children roam the streets and cause havoc….

    Hope you had a fantastic Christmas! xo

    December 27, 2007
  • Ugh people are so dumb. Glad there wasn't too much damage.

    December 28, 2007