Why I Don’t Care About Valentine’s Day

I’m not what you’d call a particularly romantic person.

Don’t get me wrong: I like flowers, and chocolates, and all of that traditionally “romantic” stuff as much as the next person, it’s just… Well, put it this way: you know when Kris Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian by scattering rose petals all over the floor, and when Kim walked in, she was all, “OMG!” and just stared at it for a couple of minutes? Did anyone else wonder if what she was REALLY thinking was, “FFS, that’s going to take FOREVER to clean up!” Because that’s what I would’ve been thinking.

But then, one day during the Christmas holiday, when I was feeling particularly stressed out by everything that was going on, Terry came to me and told me he’d cleared out the kitchen cupboards. I have never loved him more than I did in that moment, and that, to me, is what “romance” is all about: it’s about understanding exactly what it is the other person needs at that moment, and then doing your best to provide it for them – even if it’s not February 14th, and it’s not conventionally “romantic”. (And, er, even if it involves cleaning cupboards, apparently.)

Right now, what Terry and I both need is a holiday, and given that we’d rather have that than the chocolates and flowers, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. And, you know, when we go on holiday, we will do all of those conventionally “romantic” things, too. There will be candlelit dinners and moonlit walks, and if one of us decides to throw rose petals all over the room, the other one will call room service and have them come and deal with it.* It just won’t happen on February 14th, is all. On THAT day… well, we might go out to dinner, or open a bottle of champagne at home. We’re not actively opposed to the idea, after all: because who could ever object to champagne?

If it doesn’t happen, however, and we end up just having our usual Sunday night at home, well, that’ll be fine, too. This is why you’re not going to be seeing any Valentine’s gift guides, or that kind of thing around here this week. I just can’t make myself care about it. I know that sounds terrible, and it’s not like I’m one of those people who goes around saying, “You shouldn’t need a special day to show you love somebody!” or anything like that,(I mean, it IS true, but it’s also a bit obnoxious, really, when people get all self-righteous about it, isn’t it?) but I guess we can add Valentine’s Day to the list of things that more or less pass me by – this year, at least.

I DO still want those shoes, though: that’s SORT of Valentine’s-related, isn’t it?

(*I’m joking, by the way: given that I’m the kind of person who’d be bothered by the rose petals, you probably won’t be surprised to know I’m ALSO the kind of person who’d clean them up herself, so as not to have to bother the cleaning staff.)

(I also used to make the bed before they came in every morning, but I managed to wean myself off it, because they do it better than me, and I like finding out how they’re going to arrange my nightie this time…)